Today was a failure for me on many levels. And I could explain it all away with excuses like the fact that I haven’t slept well the last few nights and last night was the worst yet or the fact that I am coming down with a cold ahead of a business trip. But in reality today’s DNF is worse than that because I essentially quit.
There are those workouts that haunt me. I had one from the Open a few years ago that I walked out of and finally conquered two years later. Murph is one that kills me every year and I still haven’t really overcome in any meaningful way.
And now… Helen is on the list.
I couldn’t get in for a morning workout, so it was me, Lorelei, and John for the noon class with Coach Drea. We did a lot of warming up, first with some mobility, then with running drills, and finally with some kipping and kettle bells. None of it helped me get the pit that was forming in the back of my head out of my head.
So when we started Helen and the clock was running, I started like always with the best of intentions. Intentions didn’t help the pit in the back of my head.
- 3 rounds for time
- 400m run
- 21 kettle-bell swings (53/35#)
- 12 pull-ups
Um yeah. You see the “run” part in there? The critical part of my brain told me (and I believed it) that I was going to suck at today’s workout before it ever began. Earlier this week I knew Helen was coming, so the critic has been building a case.
I made it through the 400m run in 2:09. It took me far too long to get 21 KBS done. And by the time I was to the pull-ups I could hardly breathe. I think I was done with that first round in a bit more than 6 minutes.
I walked the second 400m and sat down when I got in the door. I was done. I gave up.
Those two words piss me off, but that’s what happened. Nobody did this to me. I could have kept going, albeit slowly. But no, I quit.
So I cleaned up a couple of kettle bells, grabbed my stuff, and left.
I swore at myself the whole way home in the car. And inwardly I’m still swearing. There would be swear word captions above my head if you could see me now.
Not a good way to end the week. I’m likely not going to get in tomorrow. Saturday is probably out. And I leave Sunday for a week.
Great way to leave things today. Not.
Great work Lorelei & John! Sorry I left Drea, but I wasn’t really in a “dealing with humankind” mood after that.
Have a great week, folks.